7 Strategies For Handling Abusers

The abuser will gradually and subtly introduce his manipulation strategies so that the victim is not aware of them, as long as they are not completely disoriented.

Why, after an assault, do we come back to the side of the person who mistreated us? The answer lies in the different manipulation strategies she uses.

They are very subtle and take advantage of this moment of despair that invades us. The one because of which we are more fragile than ever and much more manipulable.

Today, we are going to discover some manipulation strategies that we can be a victim of. Sometimes we ourselves use them without realizing it.

It happens because we want something to have a very specific ending, which we have decided in advance.

1. If you don’t do what I want, I’ll get mad

When the other person feels offended or trapped, that they can no longer argue and convince, they choose to get upset.

So it turns the situation around completely and makes you feel guilty about the situation. She will therefore succeed in extracting excuses from you and prevent you from acting in this way again.

Without you realizing it, she submits you so that you are completely at her mercy.

2. You say anything, I never said that

This is one of the most painful and confusing manipulation strategies for the victim. Phrases like “I never said that” or “don’t you remember you started it?” can make the person doubt their own reality.

What the abuser wants to do is abuse the other so that he doubts himself and ends up saying amen to all his desires.

This happens a lot, and that’s why some people try to talk to their friends so that they can give them their own view of the situation. Thus, they will be able to know whether or not it is the fruit of their imagination.

3. I did it because… I love you?

Be careful with this justification! A blow, an insult, a punch or any physical violence is a sign of abuse.

If a person raises their hand on you, tries to manipulate you, to control you, to prevent you from moving freely, to be jealous all the time, to humiliate you, be careful: this is not the case. is not love.

Loving someone does not require conditions and is not compatible with obsessive control. When we really love it doesn’t matter if the other person is with us or not.

The only thing to think about when you love is the happiness of the other.

4. If you do this, you know the consequences

“If you don’t do this, it will happen”. “I’ll kill myself if you don’t come back with me”. All these sentences refer to the famous emotional blackmail.

This makes the victim feel guilty, when what is being said is really a bomb that is worthless.

The abuser tries to scare the other into coming back with him, so that they don’t do what they want, but what they impose on them.

5. I swear I won’t do it again

If your spouse mistreats you, hurts you, and promises that he will change, trust us, he will not change.

When someone puts their hand on their spouse and tries to control or manipulate them, the trust, love and respect are long gone.

It’s nice to think that people can change, but it’s quite unreal in this situation. If he hit you, what’s going to stop him from doing it again?

6. You must give me an answer now

Anyone who abuses tries to avoid giving you time to think and think about the situation. Thus, he secures his victory over you.

This is why it is important to step back and fight for that space that you deserve, to observe the situation with perspective.

The abuser will insist and at all times will want you to decide. This is nothing more than one of his manipulation strategies.

7. Your friends are not good for you

A manipulator knows that friends and loved ones are best avoided because they could allow the victim to escape.

This is why she will prevent you from seeing the beings you love, and will make derogatory comments about these people, causing your view of them to change.

Suddenly you will start to think that the truth is that they are not for you, that your spouse is the only person to focus on, and that in reality other people are not that important.

The amazing thing about this situation is that you won’t realize the situation until it is too late. This is because the person who manipulates knows that it should not be done suddenly, but gradually.

She will therefore gradually begin to introduce scenes of anger, doubt, “I love you”, among other things, so that you gradually fall into her nets.

The sooner you open your eyes, the better.